Being called a bastard is such an endearing experience for me. People usually refer to other people as bastards because of their staunch views on a particular subject, their relentless tirades against an issue, or simply because they are assholes who simply don’t give much of a fuck about anything.
I’ve often been called an asshole. I’ve even sometimes been called a bastard. It used to hurt my feelings because I thought my method of conversation, both verbally and print, was simply a personal style of communication that spoke to my experiences as a human being and the result of a mother and father who never took sugar to coat anything other than cookies they never baked for me and my siblings as kids.
I have always been unapologetic about various stances especially as it relates to politics and race. I’ve often been referred to as the “little black panther” across Gamecock country where I went undergrad here in Columbia and many people, despite my 62 inch stature, have been intimated by my words when I open my mouth. And, I guess having my dad’s deep, raspy sound that sometimes reverberates because I simply do not understand how to speak with an inside voice when voicing my opinion didn’t help situations either.
However, as I began this blog some many weeks ago, I wanted to voice my experiences, my opinions as they relate to politics, education and music, with a quiet and meek tone that everyone could understand. And, today, as I began to write the 50th post for my blog and came up with nothing I decided to review my past posts so that I could begin to truly understand what this blog is about.
No, I didn’t understand Princepality, although I am the author, which sounds utterly ridiculous, but the one thing we have to realize is sometimes we don’t even realize how strong we feel about an issue or various issues until we begin to look back at our journal entries, or past college papers, or comments we’ve made to others, etc. And, so, I decided to review all of my past 49 posts so that I could not only begin to understand this blog, but myself.
I’ve realized, one, I use profanity. This was supposed to be a blog that editors could view for writing samples once I began applying for freelance writing positions. Well, I failed at that, at least for traditional publications, because I can’t keep four letter words out of my writing. I do not apologize for using fuck every now and again. In the words of Lauryn Hill, “…and even after all my logic and my theory, I add a motherfucka so you ignant niggas here me.”
I’ve realized, two, that this blog, although as an infant, crawled upon the floors of music, education and politics, as a toddler, it’s beginning to walk the fine line of race and race relations as it relates to music, education and politics. For me, reading through what I’ve published I’ve learned that my passion for race relations hasn’t died. I thought the passion in my relationship with race relations had fizzled, but it’s time for us to get some chocolate covered strawberries, some rose petals and some champagne because I’ve found love again.
And, finally, I’ve realized that I write with force. I always want people to own their own opinions. Never rent someone else’s ideas for convenience. Through my writing I live by my own example. My family is made up of every race one could imagine. A set of my great grandparents are white and so when I evaluate race I have to consider my own heritage with an understanding that just because my family may look like the melting pot we often refer to, America is not the same representation. And, just because the people in my family are understanding of what it means to cohabitate in ‘racial solidarity,’ the same is not true for the rest of the world. I feel like I have to continue the legacies of Malcolm X, the Black Panthers, SNCC, Martin Luther, Gandhi, Lumumba, Marcus Garvey, those of the Harlem Renaissance, etc. because if I do not their legacies will die.
Writing this blog has made me realize that for the rest of my life I will be dedicated to race relations and politics and I’ve realized that my writing style is not a traditional one. It has enabled me to begin to realize what I want to do permanently as a career. The blessing is I am currently in a position, at 30, where I’ve begun to prepare myself for the next 30 years of my life and it is so amazing to see it all come together.
So, yes, I might be an asshole or a fucking bastard, or at the least, as conveyed through my opinions and ways of communication, but it’s the bastard who always gets heard first. LOL…think about Rush Limbaugh. That is why I am unapologetic for my own stances….LOL.
J. Prince, Princepality 50