They called his family an “entourage.” They called his current wife and his children, albeit children who stepped into her life when he stepped into hers, an entourage. They wouldn’t even mention his name as being one of the most influential people in her life. They made her daughter feel like her father wasn’t good enough to share in the hurt of her fallen mother. And, all the while, they called themselves Christian singing praises to the most high for bringing such a wonderful soul, an angel they often called her, at her last show before she was laid to rest.
I didn’t get the opportunity to witness all five or so hours of Ms. Houston’ s “home going service” where many, who are drug abusers themselves, sang songs in her remembrance, but what I did get the opportunity to do is read articles about how they treated Bobby Brown during his ex-wife’s funeral. What an American disaster it was to hear that a group of people who claim to be saved and sanctified could treat a man with such disgust and disdain.
We admit. We admit that Bobby Brown was a sociopath who used drugs as a means to escape the reality of his fallen career and who used Whitney as his punching bag and attributing his bouts of domestic violence and substance abuse to bipolar disorder. But, the one thing that we have to understand is that both that man and that woman made a choice to be in a relationship, whether that relationship was a volatile one or not. And, ultimately, this man is the father of her only child and all three shared a bond. Yes, a dysfunctional bond by our definition, but a bond nonetheless.
And, once they both realized that maybe their relationship was not the healthiest one and made the decision to divorce, they also knew that their families would be joined together forever because she took his children in as her own and he loved the both of them unconditionally.
The thing that we have to understand is the psychological distress that African-Americans face. After years of equating love with abuse it is understandable why the both of them showed their love with physical violence, unconstructive criticism, and habitual drug abuse. For years, African-Americans were told by America that they are loved by their white counterparts, but that love was shown by years of slavery where black men and women were pit against each other to sustain the slavery model. This fact leads to why we interact so volatile within our personal relationships.
And, yes, I have to reference history to make readers understand the long term affects of slavery because whether we like to admit it or not, we still suffer from the Willie Lynch syndrome, or as we call it today, the “crabs in the barrel” philosophy. We feel love because we are a spiritual people, but we don’t know how to love because we’ve never been taught the appropriate ways of how to love. So, we still use the Lynch model of love today.
This is what happened to Whitney and Bobby and millions of other African-Americans couples who add to the domestic violence statistics that seem to increase as years pass.
Never will I excuse Bobby of his treatment of Whitney or Whitney’s treatment of Bobby, but what I will excuse is the fact that these were two people who obviously loved each other, but was never taught the appropriate way to love. And, as a Christian nation, as we like to proclaim we are, can we indict a man for his sins? Jesus said even said to the most high himself, as the Bible states, “forgive them father for they know not what they do.” Isn’t the point of Christianity to be more like Jesus himself and if so, why can’t Whitney’s family and friends forgive not only Bobby, but Whitney, for partaking in such an abusive relationship?
One thing can be said. When one becomes holier than thou, just as Lucifer did before God put a foot in his ass to spend eternity in the pits of hell, shouldn’t we get the same boot?
-J.Prince, Princepality 6
Princepality 