Cupid and America are in cahoots. I hate to tell you this but it is true. Cupid didn’t go to college, he didn’t create a business, he didn’t get into acting, he did nothing to ensure that he was successful at something other than shooting fantastical arrows into the butts of men and women everywhere who really don’t fall in love because of the arrow, they simply fall in lust with whoever interests them sexually.
And, America? Well, she made her wealth on the backs of others toiling in tobacco and cotton fields, the taxes of the poor and middle class and she is still hungry for money.
The two of them together took a calendar, posted it on a wall, took a dart and said whatever day that darted landed on would be the day they would call Valentine’s forcing millions of women, yes, mostly women, to make men spend money on them for both their economic gain. (Insert Uncle Sam’s diabolical laughter here.)
And, unfortunately, we still fall for it to this day. Crying and doing dumb shit to get a boyfriend or girlfriend so that we can have a ‘valentine’ and go out to dinner and get candy and cakes and cupcakes and diamonds and gold and whisper sweet NOTHINGS in our ears.
I am often flabbergasted at how we allow ourselves to be determined by the woes of America and all they go into cahoots with to make you spend money and feel bad about yourself. It doesn’t stop at Cupid. America is in cahoots with Santa Clause, the tooth fairy, that damn rabbit that don’t have shit to do with Jesus, oh, and let’s not forget Satan himself.
It’s funny. It’s funny how Valentine’s and these other helladays can feed the lowering of our emotional self-esteem.
Listen, if you want a man or a woman that is perfectly understandable. We are here to co-mingle, if you will. God didn’t give us vaginas and penises and the brains to use them for nothing. We come in a physical package that is filled with emotional and physical desires but do not allow Valentine’s to determine how you feel about being or not being with someone. That is when you lose control of your life and offer it to someone else–even mystical, fantastical (fantasy) creatures like Cupid.
Fuck Valentine’s if you ask me. Fuck Christmas. Fuck Halloween. What else should I say ‘fuck’ to? Well, you get my drift.
If you are by yourself and you really want to do something on Valentine’s Day, treat yourself to lunch or dinner, buy yourself a watch or a diamond and by the posts and tweets on Facebook and Twitter, hell, half the country ain’t got nobody so take your friend with you and shower yourself with love and gifts. Because, probably, the reason why you don’t have anyone is because you don’t know how to love yourself, anyway. #ijs
Learn to do that and maybe it’ll come!
To all my funny valentine’s who post and tweet comedic questions like, ‘what should I do? I don’t have a valentine?” I just gave you your answer!
Bjork-Funny Valentine (My Gift to You)
J. Prince, Princepality 71